match firsts

For the first time in my many (embarrassingly many) years off and on match.com, I'm corresponding with someone who turned out to be the friend of a friend. And a one-time fairly good friend. They haven't hung out in years, but still, it's nice to know that someone I love and trust has the skinny on my latest yet-to-be-met romantic prospect.

The other first for me is that I'm not frantically checking my match messages 100 times a day. I can honestly say that for as much as I'm very ready for love, I don't feel desperate! That's an even better first that the first one.

It also helps that my friend Alison keeps reminding me that:

1. I'm interviewing THEM, not the other way around
2. My healthy attitude is going to pay off in spades

These Alison-isms pull me through when the chips are down and I forget that I'm not desperate. Thank goodness!

Overheard on the train

I was riding home on the train tonight, minding my own business, reading the Metro in a quiet spot in the back a relatively empty car. Nice and peaceful, after having been to a raucous dance performance at the Kimmel Center. Then a small group of teenagers boarded and spread out in seats practically surrounding me. They were fairly tame in the beginning, but then one of them must have felt like he had something to prove. Here's how it went ... it was virtually a soliloquy, delivered loud enough to be sure everyone heard:

"Yo, there's this girl who likes me, but then the other night I saw her tonging some other dude. She was like, [falsetto] 'oh, it's not what it looks like!' and I'm like, yeah bullshit. Whatever.

"But THIS guy, [gesturing toward the guy sitting behind him] he gets all the chicks. Me, I get a kiss, but HE gets mthathamthatamm [make-out noises]. I get to visit girls at their houses and say 'hey, what's up?' and HE gets their fucking virginity. I don't know how he does it.

"But yo, my dad used to work at the Crab Trap a long time ago, and he told me that some waitress asked him to go into the wine freezer with him to help her get a bottle down from the top shelf, and then she started balling him! I'm like, 'uhhhh, why do I know this?' I asked him, 'weren't you going out with mom then?' And he was like, 'uhhhh...' And I'm like, no wonder they got a divorce. [laughter, but only his own]

"My dad's girlfriend was drunk the other night and she goes, [falsetto] 'when I was you're age, I taught all the guys in my town how to kiss.' "

After that, the guy he was trying so hard to impress got off the train. Thank God. The kid shut up after that.

I feel sorta bad for him, with a father like that and all.

Summer Solstice

The Kimmel Center's annual Summer Solstice Celebration is probably my favorite event of the year. I've worked there for seven years, and this weekend will be the fifth time we've presented this overnight music and arts festival. It's the one night of the year I can actually manage to pull a true all-nighter. I wasn't even able to do those in college, so at 40 years old, that's really saying something.

The Philadelphia Inquirer ran a piece about it today and they used three of my photos. Seeing my byline in the Inky is always thrilling ... but THREE in one day?! I might just burst.

www.kimmelcenter.org/solstice

Who's Your Daddy

Happy Father's Day! I'm particularly excited about this one because I have a cool gift to give him. About 15 years ago, I gave my dad a set of clay bells I made in throwing class. I had no idea how much he loved them until they broke last year and he showed them to me with tears in his eyes! So I made him a new set. I can't wait to give them to him.

After all, he's the one who paid for me to learn how to throw in the first place. He sent me to college and never insisted I get a job or a student loan. And he beamed with pride every time I brought something new home that I made. He learned the lingo so he could ask the right questions, and displayed my work in his house for everyone to see.

These days, Dad has some creative hobbies of his own. He is forging and welding, and getting better at them both all the time. So I'm hoping that this new set of clay bells will be a collaboration of sorts. I plan to ask him to make a rack to hang them from. My turn to learn the lingo and ask the questions.

Let the dating begin

So I bit the bullet and re-upped my match.com membership. I found a few profiles that looked unusually great, so I felt compelled to contact them. I'm excited about feeling excited about it!

I'm still not sure online dating is the best way for me to meet Mr. Right, though two of my closest friends have, so why not me too?!

So here I am, leaning on the one thing the tarot card reader said in April that I treasure most: "it's going to be easy for you from now on ... no more thieves, no more scoundrels, no more struggle."

From her lips...

How should I date?

After a long hiatus, I'm feeling ready to toss my hat back into the dating ring. Actually, I should clarify. I'm interested in a relationship, not just dating. The truth is, I hate dating. At least, I hate those first couple of dates -- when every move each of you makes (including what you decided to wear and what you decided to order for dinner) takes on vastly disproportionate levels of meaning, open to intense scrutiny.

I'd much prefer to jump ahead a month or so to the part where we're just beginning to explore our physical compatibility, and we feel comfortable enough to expose our real selves by wearing sweats and NOT wearing makeup.

It's all easier said than done though... because my biggest problem has always been FINDING someone to date. I'm sort of tempted to go back to the online dating thing (with which I've had off-and-on success, albeit short-lived)... but the recent trial of the guy who was accused of raping his dates freaks me out.

From ABC.com:

"A man who told dates he met online tall tales of being a doctor, an astronaut and a CIA assassin was convicted Wednesday of two counts of sexual assault but acquitted of raping several women who accused him of drugging them. Seven women, six of whom Jeffrey J. Marsalis met through the Match.com dating service, told similar stories of blacking out or becoming unusually intoxicated during dates from 2003 to 2005..."

Ideally I'll meet someone along the way, as I live my normal life. You know, like through mutual friends and such. It's the only true way to have a guy's "papers" so the above is less likely to happen. But that has only ever really worked for me once. I met a guy at a friend's party, and it turned into the longest relationship I've ever had.

And you know what they say -- it only takes ONE. It's true. I only need one! One guy to fall in love with. One husband. One possible father to my kids.

It's definitely incentive to wait it out again and hope to meet someone the old fashioned way rather than going back to the online thing.

I continue to be undecided about it. Any advice??

Sensible comfort food

How often do those words work together? What could possibly be sensible about comfort food? Isn't food that's comforting pretty much automatically bad for you? I mean, mash potatoes, peanut butter & jelly, ice cream, french fries, chocolate and pizza might have their good-for-you arguments ... but let's be real.

Well, I found a way to make at least one of those items sensible and I couldn't be happier about it. Healthy substitutes for decadent foods are usually anything but comforting. They're bland, rubbery and often taste more like cardboard than food.

But when I've had a stressful day and it's time to eat, all I want is pizza. Thank GOD for this version of it that totally satisfies and doesn't ruin my diet.

Ev's Toaster Oven Pizza

1 whole wheat tortilla (1 weight watcher point)
2-3 Tbs pizza sauce (0 points)
1/4 Cup low fat shredded cheese (2 points)
8 slices of turkey pepperoni (1 point)
Total points = 4

Combine ingredients as you would a pizza, adding veggies if you wish. Don't overload the tortilla or it will be a mess to eat! Pop it in the toaster oven for about as long as it takes to toast bread. That's it. So easy, and so delicious.

Sensible comfort food. Woo hoo!