Paint your own toes

Did you ever get a bad pedicure? I've only ever had two professional pedicures in my whole life. The first one was exquisite -- complete with a leg massage, exfoliation and pristine polish. It was years ago (I don't let people touch my feet very often), administered by a friend of my stepmother's. Bravo Janet!

The second one was, you guessed it, bad. I got it here in Collingswood at a fancy salon which will remain nameless. The guy who gave it to me nearly scalded me with the water in the tub, then scrubbed my feet raw (do you really need excessive exfoliation on the tops of your feet??), and finally, with his shakey hands, managed to get polish not only on my toenails, but all over my toes as well. I even found spots of polish on the soles of my feet when I got home.

My friends had a laugh, calling me "clown feet" during our trip to get ice cream afterward ... which was really the only up-side to the whole experience. We'll probably laugh about it for years to come. For that it was worth it.

It took about 15 minutes and several polish-remover-soaked q-tips to make my feet fit for public viewing. Next time I'll just paint my own damn toes.

By the way, I'm refraining from posting a photo because I've learned that foot photos attract fans I'd rather not have.