Have you seen the movie "The Holiday" starring Kate Winslet? It's pure fluff, but I love it. I've seen it about six times, and every time it comes on cable, I get sucked in again. Buried deep in all the fluff is this one really poignant moment when Kate's character is weeping to her octogenarian friend Arthur about her cad ex-boyfriend for whom she desperately pines. Arthur says, "In every movie there's a leading lady and a best friend. You're leading lady material, but your acting like the best friend!"
Kate suddenly sees the light, and replies, "I should at least be the leading lady of my OWN LIFE!" Damn straight, Kate.
There are lots of us women out there who have let ourselves be treated over and over again like the best friend. I know I have. I could rattle off half a dozen guys who I fell for hard, who never intended to be in a committed relationship with me, but kept me around (flirted, called, hugged, maybe even swapped spit) because I was a devoted, loyal friend who made them feel handsome/sexy/desirable.
They're not all cads. Some of them truly mean well, but they just don't know how to resist letting a woman pine for them -- it's too flattering! And we help by letting them -- and probably by believing that "best friend" is all we deserve anyway.
Turn the tides, girls! Take back the star on your dressing room door, and think of those men as fans of YOURS instead of the other way around. They need you way more than you need them anyway! The man who appreciates your generosity properly will make you the priority you deserve to be.
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3 comments:
"OK, so he wasn't a rat or even a super-rat, but oh golly gee damn."
great advice...you should also recommend to your friends the 1938 version of "The Holiday" a highly wonderful Grant/Hepburn vehicle.
You're so right... I should at least be able to say I've seen the original! I'll put it in my netflix queue. Thanks.
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